


Fire Without a Flame

by starsmahogany



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, First Time, Post-Mockingjay, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 18:10:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsmahogany/pseuds/starsmahogany
Summary: A take on Katniss and Peeta's first time, or a look into what happened before "So after."Mockingjay, Katniss' POV. Originally posted to Tumblr June 2018.





	Fire Without a Flame

Something’s different about tonight. Something’s different about him. Something’s different about me. I can’t explain it, nor can I put my finger on it, but there just seems to be an entirely new energy present.

I’ve dealt with sparks before. I am no stranger to fire. I’ve grown accustomed to flames burning out of control. I’ve been swallowed up by numerous blazes numerous times in the past.

But this…This is foreign, even to me. This is a kindling I have not yet truly dealt with. Perhaps once before. Perhaps a long time ago. But that was nothing compared to this. This is a new fire that has always been stomped out before it could rise to its true strength.

I sigh, listening to the light rain as I continue to think, continue to ponder what I’m dealing with.

It started with a nightmare, which is, unfortunately, nothing new. I was tangled up in the darkness, a prisoner to my own mind, awaking violently and screaming the remnants of horror away. Peeta of course, was right there as usual, his strong arms scooping me up to console me. And then, just like the past few nights, simple hugs and caresses evolved into pecks and kisses, Peeta peppering my dewy skin and eventually my lips with comfort.

And that’s when something…changed. That’s when something resting in the ashes began to glow again. That’s when a lone flame started to quietly burn after so long.

Because I was kissing him back. I was reveling in his touch, his presence, his…everything. I’ve been better at looking past my shyness. I’ve been better at returning the love he’s been giving me for years. But after a particularly long kiss, a particularly passionate kiss, it awakened.

As I gazed into his eyes, panting, trembling, and he returned the stare with equal fervor, I could feel the telltale heat beginning to alight around us. As his strong body pressed against mine, I could feel myself getting licked by flames all over again. As I held his gaze, I could see his pupils fattening into two pieces of dark coal, ready to be ignited with the rest of us.

The girl on fire was hungry for a different kind of flame.

The strength of it, the newness of it all, terrified me.

And so, like always, I tried to run. I tried to flee before I could become engulfed. With one last kiss, I wiggled out from under Peeta, and darted downstairs to the porch. I made myself comfortable against the rainy backdrop, hoping that water would douse anything still lingering inside me.

But it’s been to no avail. Even after sitting out here and letting the rainy mists envelop me, my skin is still burning, my stomach is still smoldering.

A shaky breath escapes my lips, shutting my eyes as I lean my head back against the doorway. I guess the whole thing is inevitable. This will have to happen at some point. I know there’s only so long you can attempt to contain a raging fire before it spirals out of control.

Still…

“Katniss?”

The voice that normally brings me so much comfort causes my heart to leap up into my throat, my eyes snapping open to gaze at its source.

He looks just as I left him. Slightly ruffled from sleep, slightly confused, and just…

I swallow hard, the words “handsome” and “wonderful” still a bit too strange to me. But they’re certainly accurate.

“Hey,” he murmurs, a warm ghost of a smile appearing on his face, “Mind if I sit?”

When I softly shake my head, his smile grows a tad more, and situates himself in the doorway as well, plopping himself down across from me. There’s a moment of comfortable silence, the two of us staring out into the night and watching the rain fall, something we’ve done a few times before. Peeta though, is the one who attempts to be conversational.

“The rain has really cooled everything off tonight.”

_“Not everything,”_  my brain interjects, and I attempt to shoo the thought away.

“It’s almost kind of weird after it’s been so hot lately. It’s nice,” he continues.

“Yeah, it is,” I reply softly, keeping my eyes trained out over the landscape before us.

Another slip into a rainy bout of quiet, but Peeta doesn’t give me the luxury of avoiding his gaze for much longer. After some time, I can feel the heat of his stare on me, leaving little flickers in its wake. Knowing I can’t deny him forever, I inhale sharply and slowly turn to meet his eye.

The way we’re sitting and looking at each other takes me back to numerous instances. It reminds me of how we sat with each other not long after Peeta returned from the Capitol. It reminds me of how we sat in the Tribute Center before the Games.

But obviously, this time is far different than those. This time carries something far greater, something far more volatile between us.

Peeta quietly clearing his throat breaks me out of my head, but what he says next catches me completely off guard.

“I uh…I’m sorry if I came on a little too strong tonight,” he says softly, flitting his gaze downwards for a moment before staring up at me again.

“What…?”

“You know…” He lets out a sigh, turning his stare out towards the porch again. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out or anything.”

I draw my bottom lip into my mouth, worrying it at the prospect of discussing this subject. That’s partly why I ran down here; I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have a good idea on how to approach this kind of thing. Thinking too much about it or anything of the sort has always caused me to kind of lock up. And tonight is no exception.

“You didn’t,” I murmur simply, turning my gaze out towards the rain as well.

And it’s not a lie; it wasn’t Peeta that scared me. He’s always so gentle, so understanding. He’s never really been one to rush me into anything. And I know he’s wanted this, wanted me, more than anything for the longest time, yet he always seems to put my feelings first. He always seems to travel at my pace.

So no, it wasn’t him at all. He wasn’t forcing himself on me; I was returning his advances with equal passion. It was…

I bring my legs up towards my chest, curling into a small and shrinking myself down.

It was all me. It was being scared that the strange new fire was going to completely overtake me for the first time, and not knowing what to do with it. It was my general ignorance towards anything affectionate at all.

I tuck my chin against my knees, slumping even more.

It was…not wanting to disappoint Peeta. Which is ridiculous really, because part of me knows he’d be satisfied no matter what happened. But another part of me knows just how long he’s been waiting for this, just how much he wants it. And after everything we’ve been through, everything he’s been through…

…I just want it to be perfect for him.

“Katniss…”

I can hear the argument poised on his tongue. I can sense his stubborn apology threatening to leap out.

“-You didn’t,” I interject, saying it firmer than last time, “You didn’t. It was…me, okay?”

“Wh-”

“-I don’t know what to do,” I quickly blurt out, the embarrassed warmth in my cheeks rivaling what I’m still feeling down below.

Thankfully, my confession shuts Peeta up, if for a second at least, his stunned stare boring holes in my side. I bury my face against my knees, and when I hear Peeta’s intake of breath, I quickly continue once more.

“I…I don’t know how to…”

My lame voice trails off, the words getting caught in my throat. When a tense silence follows, I ready myself to shrink down even further, to hide completely away from the man beside me. A soft chuckle from him however, pops me back open, my head whipping up to give him a confused look.

I’m relieved, albeit puzzled, to see him smiling warmly at me, a few snickers still puffing from his nose.

“And you think  _I_  do?” he laughs.

While I’m glad he understood me, glad we’re on the same page, I gawk at him, my stare turning incredulous.

“I…”

Again, the words get jammed before they can ever reach my tongue. Because, I don’t want to admit that I believe Peeta has had far more experience than me. He just…always seems to carry himself in a way that would make me think so. Hugging and kissing just seem to come so naturally to him; he never seems to get nervous like I do. So it just kind of made sense to assume.

Thankfully, Peeta picks up the subject I’m struggling to present to him, reading my thoughts with ease. He laughs again, before scooting across the doorway to sit next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and holding me close. While it’s instantly comforting, I can feel my muscles clench, his touch a fiery reminder of why I came out here in the first place.

“I’m in the same boat as you are, actually,” he says with a grin, his hand gently starting to stroke my arm.

I guess I can’t hide the disbelief on my face, because he lets out another round of mirth.

“I mean, unless you consider getting poor advice from my brothers and dares that never amounted to anything ‘experience.’“

“But…You seem so…” My chest threatens to heave from nerves, so I quickly blurt out my thoughts once more. “You seem to know what you’re doing.”

I look down at the wooden porch and avoid his stare, but I can almost see the twinkling tease in his eye.

“I guess things just come easy when I’m with the woman of my dreams.”

I feel myself blushing immensely, and I worry my lip between my teeth at his sentiments. Again, he chuckles softly, and then I’m surprised to feel his petal-soft lips against my forehead. I shakily inhale, stunned to see how much his touch is  _still_  affecting me, little sparks dancing from where his mouth meets my skin.

“Is that all you’re worried about?” he gently asks against me.

“Among…other things,” I breathe out.

“Yeah? Like what?” 

My cheeks must look like two red-hot pieces of coal right about now, and I let out another shaky sigh. I hate to admit my weaknesses, to him or anybody else. But when I slowly meet his gaze again and find nothing but patience, gentleness, and warmth looking back, I can’t help but tell him what’s holding me back.

“I don’t…want to disappoint you…”

The last few words come out as a grumble, the urge to hide myself growing strong once again. I watch as his smile fades away and is replaced with a stunned expression. But just as I’m about to look away, just as I’m about to kick myself, he reaches forward with both hands, gingerly cupping my face. I feel my breath catch, and I don’t really have time to process anything more before he’s gently drawing my mouth to his, locking us in a tender kiss.

I’m frozen for a moment, but the second his thumbs begin to stroke my cheeks, I let out a sigh, relaxing against him. It’s far slower than the kisses we were sharing not too long ago in the bedroom. It’s far more gentle, far more soft, Peeta applying the lightest of pressure as he sucks on my bottom lip. And when he breaks away to press loving kisses to both of my cheeks, it’s reassuring.

“Katniss…” he begins, his tone gentle and genuine, his thumbs continuing to stroke my skin, “ _If_ you and I ever did something, it would be…beyond compare no matter what.”

I’m barely breathing, my eyes desperately searching his for any sign of teasing, my brain desperately trying to convince me otherwise. But all I see is pure, sincere Peeta. 

“Seriously. I would love each and every second of it,” he continues, ”There’s not a single thing you could do that would turn me away. It would be…absolutely incredible, like you.”

The building heat in my cheeks matches the building heat elsewhere. I’m starting to believe him, starting to trust what he’s saying, the rain clouds clearing a bit and giving more leeway to the flames within.

“I don’t think you need me to tell you how much I adore you. Or how beautiful I think you are.”

I can’t help but look away at his compliments, letting out a heavy sigh of embarrassment against his hand and giving a shy ghost of a smile.

“Thought not,” he laughs, before continuing softly, “So really, you have nothing to worry about.”

I gaze at him once more, and the smile that’s pulled me in all these years is adorning his face. I can feel my breathing beginning to pick up, my heart starting to thud in my chest.

“On a similar note though, don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to. I’d be perfectly fine with just kissing you, or doing whatever else you wanted. We don’t have to do…that…at all.”

“Peeta…”

“Please,” he murmurs, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to my nose, “You don’t have to worry about me at all. You really don’t. I’m more than happy to do things at your pace. Whatever makes you the most comfortable. So whenever you’re completely ready, I’ll be ready too.”

Another small smile works its way back on to my face, coupled with a shaky breath as I attempted to drink all his promises in, to process everything. But as I look out against the rainy landscape, as I sift through both his words and my thoughts, my smile slowly begins to shift back towards the usual scowl.

I could almost laugh at my naivety; of course Peeta wouldn’t have any complaints with my inexperience. Of course Peeta wouldn’t judge or offer an ounce of negativity. Of course Peeta would be absolutely sweet and understanding. 

The raging flame could have burned brightly tonight. The ravenous hunger that’s been growling deep within me could have been satisfied. But I feel like after having Peeta comfort me again, after talking through the logistics of it, the mood has been quite soiled, washed away with the deluge outside. 

I’m now incredibly relieved, but all the more frustrated. I have to swallow back the groan of annoyance building in my throat.

Before I can self-depreciate too far though, Peeta snaps away the bad thoughts as he rouses himself to depart.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone,” he says softly, but not without pressing a loving kiss to my head, “Goodnight.”

With that, his muscular form disappears back into the darkness of the house, leaving me alone to ponder things further.

My head lulls back against the doorway, and I bring my hands up to rake down my face before resting them against my lips. God, I don’t deserve him. He’s done nothing but put all his desires to the side for me. He’s done nothing but offer selfless comfort and compassion while I struggle and fumble all the while.

I can’t believe I ever doubted him, doubted his kindness. I can’t believe my fears were strong enough to overpower how I know he feels about me. Because I know perfectly well that I’m his everything.

And truthfully…he’s everything to me as well.

I let out a shaky sigh, my fingers involuntarily grabbing my bottom lip, almost replicating the feeling of Peeta’s kiss.

That’s when it clicks.

Maybe it’s time for me to thank him for his love, his unending affection, by showering him in it back. Maybe it’s time for me to initiate something for a change.

Maybe it’s time for  _me_  to chase after  _him_.

I sit up straight against the wood behind me, my heartbeat and breaths both taking off. The lone flame, which I thought had been completely extinguished by the long conversation, makes itself known once more, burning within my abdomen and out into my extremities.

There’s definitely still something in the air tonight. There’s definitely still a chance for me to grab. There’s definitely the very real possibility of Peeta and I still having…

My cheeks go ablaze, matching the growing heat inside me. I need to let go of my modesty completely. I trust him. Especially after everything he said tonight. I know it’ll be…wonderful, like he said. I know it’ll be a giant step in our relationship, a way to prove our devotion to one another without even saying it. And since I’ve never really been good at saying something, it’s the perfect chance.

I stand up before any lingering anxieties can convince me otherwise, letting out broken exhales and giving off small shivers. I can’t let Peeta go back to sleep. I can’t let Peeta head off to the studio and get wrapped up in a painting. The fire, the hunger, were and still are begging to be satisfied.

If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen now.

I take the opportunity and literally run with it, bolting back into the darkness of the house. I’m almost delirious with excitement, with nerves, with the possibilities, making my way through the black and towards the stairs. When I make it to the outside of Peeta and I’s room though, I pause.

A healthy dose of reality sets in as I realize this is the last barrier, the last place to get my jitters out. I feel more exhilarated than I do on a hunt, adrenaline and emotion surging through my veins. Even though Peeta reassured me plenty, I still find myself questioning how I’m supposed to start this off. How do other girls do it? Do I simply barge in and lunge for him? Am I supposed to be sultry, sly? Am I suppose to purr out his name and beckon for him to come to me?

My mouth goes dry, and I could almost wince as the word “sexy” comes to mind. But then I hear his sweet statements from earlier, his compliments and reassurances. My confidence coming back, I decide to amplify it further by letting my hair down, unraveling my braid piece by piece. I shake it out in ebony waves against my shoulders, my attention traveling downwards.

I take note of my button-down sleep shirt, and strangely get visions of Johanna stripping down in the elevator, something that certainly stole the men’s attention. With that in mind, I boldly decide to undo a few buttons so that the shirt hangs just barely over my breasts.

I blush down at myself, biting my lip at the sight. But when I think of how Peeta is going to be seeing even more of me, I decide to tear down the final wall of hesitance, the final wall of backing down, pushing the door open in one swift movement.

“Peeta-”

His name completely dies in my throat at the sight before me.

He’s seated on the opposite side of the bed, his muscular, bare back on perfect display for me. I could almost stop breathing as my eyes rake over every curve, every bulge of his form, my thighs instantly turning to jelly. I try my best to hold my pose, to remain standing for that matter, especially as he turns to follow my voice.

In a matter of seconds, we’re right back to the same plane of passion, the same plane of desire, that we were before my fears took over. Only this time, I’m not backing down. This time, I have every intention to acquaint myself with the inferno I’ve tried so hard to deny. And judging by Peeta’s expression, I can see that feelings are perfectly mutual.

His eyes widen immensely, the sapphire blue standing out against the amber glow of our room. His mouth drops slightly agape, and his entire form runs stiff, like he’s sucked all the oxygen in the space into his lungs.

There’s a moment of us simply holding each other’s stares, trembling and holding steady all the while. I push myself however, to chance the first glance at his body, my eyes flitting downwards to admire him.

I trace his sculpted jaw and collar before plunging below, running over his chest and the light amount of hair dusting his skin. I follow it like a trail, and it leads me down his quivering abdomen, down towards a rather telltale bulge at the apex of his thighs.

My cheeks are quick to run red at the sight, and I look up just in time to see his eyes drinking in my body as well. He must sense my stare, because his own flashes back to connect with mine as he awkwardly shifts himself on the bed.

“Ka-” His voice is unusually raspy. “Katniss…? Wh-”

“I’m ready,” I breathe out, barely above a whisper.

I watch as a tremor rolls down the length of his spine, his hands digging into the comforter to match his sharp intake of breath. He seems to contemplate my words for a moment, swallowing hard and shutting his eyes tightly.

“God…” he whispers thickly, before looking back at me, “Are…you sure?”

Before I can think otherwise, before I can say something stupid, I’m leaping across the bed to let my actions do the talking. I jump to him in a single swift movement, my hands finding perch on his cheeks and tugging his face to mine. I bring us into a salacious kiss, parting my lips and coaxing him further. I’m pleased to hear a deep groan slip from his throat, before he’s matching my efforts, matching my fire.

We kiss like we’re quenching a deprived thirst, greedily drinking each other in. Soft smacks and moans sound from us as we slide and gape against one another, a sort of dance between our mouths. As it continues, I can already feel myself growing all the more desperate, all the more eager. I pull him even closer, and he responds by slipping his tongue in to meet mine.

A needy whimper, a sort of noise I didn’t even think I was capable of producing, slips from my throat. Its effects are immediate; Peeta shudders and groans yet again, before breaking our kiss to pant against my skin. I’m about to question his absence, but the words evaporate into thin air the second his mouth begin to journey down towards my neck.

I’m surprised how the pace changes the moment he reaches his destination. Instead of hurried, more carnal kisses, he presses his lips slowly, purposefully, against my sensitive skin. His mouth is a brush, my neck his canvas, as he paints a warm trail.

I’ve never had anyone kiss me there before. I’ve heard about it surely, but didn’t think too much of it. I definitely wouldn’t have guessed that it would feel so… _good_.

My mouth falls open on its own accord, my head lulling back to match it. It’s like Peeta has put me under a spell, his lips working wonders under my chin and against my collar. He’s gentle, so incredibly gentle, and it feels like he’s putting as much passion as he can into each meaningful kiss.

Despite how wonderful it feels, despite his utter sweetness, an intrusive thought makes its way into my head. I cannot help but think about the last time Peeta touched my neck. It certainly wasn’t anything like this…

There’s such a contrast between then and now that it could almost bring tears to my eyes. Every tender kiss feels like a silent apology. Every soft glide feels like a promise that he’s mine.

I couldn’t be happier that he’s with me, that he’s my Peeta again. I couldn’t be happier that we’re actually sharing this moment together. If anything, his affection, his care, causes me to want him even more.

After allowing him to get one last kiss in, I slip my hands down to cup his jaw, bringing him up and away from my neck. There’s a brief look of confusion stricken across his face, but it’s quick to be replaced with a warm smile the second he sees mine. I gaze at him for a moment, and I can feel three particular words dancing around in my head. Actually saying them proves to be a challenge, as I utter them so rarely.

But I hope my expression speaks for itself, along with how I plan for the rest of the night to go.

I don’t hesitate to draw him back into a kiss, my body burning brightly. The blaze is back in full force, the strange feeling of want entirely evident the more and more we enrapture one another. I can feel myself shivering slightly, my being a pot nearly boiling over with various emotions. But even despite nerves being in the mix, even despite my anxieties attempting to hang on, I finally give myself in.

I alight, my skin going ablaze, acting on the sheer impulse to tame the flames. I begin to lower myself downwards against the bed, walking Peeta and I back until I’m settling myself against the pillows with him hovering over me.

The position we’re in, the realness of the situation, must hit us both at the same time. When I involuntarily begin to tremble even more, I can feel Peeta tense slightly against me.

“Katniss…” he murmurs into our kiss, his voice low and muffled.

“Shhh…” I reply, silently begging him to continue.

To my dismay however, he breaks away to gaze down at me, blue eyes searching carefully through grey.

It’s nearly identical to how we were before I decided to bail out. Soft pants, dark pupils, and hungry souls. Except this time, I have every intention of continuing. Peeta however, still decides to exercise caution.

“We…don’t have to do this, you know,” he murmurs.

“Now who’s the killjoy?”

Thankfully, Peeta chuckles softly, but he’s quick to fall solemn again.

“Seriously though…”

“-Peeta, I thought it was pretty obvious that I was serious,” I cut him off, giving a short glance downwards at myself.

He huffs with laughter, gently brushing a few strands of dark hair out of my face.

“Well yeah, okay,” he chuckles, “Still, it was a pretty sudden shift. So I just wanted to make sure.”

I let out a breathy sigh, the small shivers still wracking my form. I know I have to verbally convince him now. He’s concerned about me. He doesn’t want to push me too far. So I have no choice but to tell him how I feel.

“I…”

My voice threatens to catch like earlier, but I press forward.

“I want this, Peeta…I  _have_  wanted this. But it’s just…all so new to me that I kind of…panicked the last time.”

When I look away, he leans down to press a loving kiss to my cheek, giving me the encouragement to continue.

“But you comforted me,” I whisper, “You were there for me like you always are…And it made me realize that I’m safe, and that  _this_ , is real. I mean this.”

To my utter relief, I watch as Peeta’s smile grows, gaining more and more warmth behind it. Perhaps the flame within him is finally igniting at my words, a thought that sends a shudder down my spine.

He leans down to restart our kiss, claiming my bottom lip by sucking it into his mouth. It triggers that same whimper again, and he chuckles through our kiss before breathlessly pulling away.

“We’re…we’re really about to do this, real or not real?” he laughs through his pants.

It feels like the entire world stops spinning as I look at him, as I process his question. It also feels like it put everything I have into my reply, the single word a whispered exhale.

“…Real.”

And then there’s an explosion, two raging infernos melding into one. A volcano of passion erupts, the two of us pouring out new energy and love into each other. Because the second after I confirm my wants, we’re kissing hungrily, almost aggressively. And our once stagnant and hesitant hands finally begin to wander freely.

Instantly my hands find Peeta’s chest, savoring the feeling of his stiff, warm, clenching muscles beneath my touch. In return, he holds his body up with one hand and sweeps down mine with the other, rubbing up and down my side.

It’s strange, but it almost seems like my body seems to subconsciously follow his touch. As his hand ventures along, I shift to meet it, my form beginning to softly rock underneath his. It must have some sort of effect on Peeta, because it’s his turn to shiver, releasing a soft moan into our seemingly unbreakable kiss.

I’m surprised when his moan travels deep through my core, and resonates in my abdomen. I know what the hunger feels like at this point, sure. But the sensation Peeta has caused now is certainly different, certainly more intense. The area right above the apex of my thighs begins to ache, physically ache. It’s a new kind of throbbing that seems to lead to a rush between my legs.

I didn’t know someone could affect me in such a way, but of course Peeta would be able to. He’s made me feel ways no one else could come even remotely close to replicating.

The feeling must be mutual, because as I pull him closer, as he presses his body flush to mine, I can feel a hardness pressing against my center. I cannot hush the squeak that passes through my mouth at the sensation, a sort of hot ripple resonating from our pseudo connection.

When he starts to mimic my rocks however, when his body sways against mine and the firmness in his pants rubs repeatedly against my ever growing warmth and wetness, it’s like the floodgates are opened.

I feel like I turn into a different person entirely. I didn’t even know this side of me existed. But all of a sudden, with warm, electrifying bolts surging through me, I’m clambering to have Peeta closer. I’m pulling and groping at his back. I’m releasing quiet, high pitched moans with every exhalation. I’m inwardly clenching and pulsing, every part of me so desperate for something I’ve never even had.

It must be a good kind of overwhelming for Peeta as well, because he finally breaks our kiss to breathe heavily against my lips.

“You have no idea…the effect you can have…” he murmurs with a grin, pressing his forehead against mine.

“I might,” I heave; it almost feels like he’s swelling and pressing even harder down below.

He chuckles, slowly licks his engorged lips, and then he’s gone, robbing me of his weight and the coupled sensations. Once again I’m about to protest, but as I lean up on my elbows and watch him, my breath catches in my throat.

He’s sitting on the side of the bed again, though this time he begins to fiddle with his prosthetic, starting to unclasp it from his thigh. I sit up fully to watch him, leaning near his shoulder and pressing the occasional kiss to his skin. He smiles at the feeling, and I cannot help but do the same as I continue with my pecks, my hand starting to stroke his back. I find myself freezing though, when he removes his prosthetic and shifts his focus to his pants, beginning to untie the drawstring.

If my heart wasn’t pounding before, it certainly is now, thundering away and almost skipping beats with every advancement Peeta makes. When he’s loosened his pants enough, he shimmies them downwards, lifting himself up off the bed to fully slide them off.

He’s clad only in his boxers now, and my cheeks have to be redder than I thought possible as I shyly eye the rather large bulge awaiting me. I begin to chew my lip, as I’ve never been one for nudity. I’ve seen the male form briefly before, mostly back when my mother worked on patients in the house.

I’ve never seen it like this though, engorged and large and ready. I also have to remind myself that it’s Peeta. And that the tenting of fabric down below is because of me.

He begins to slowly tug his boxers down, and I almost feel the urge to look away. But I don’t; I watch as he tugs the fabric away, lifts himself off the bed again to pull them fully down, and allows himself to literally spring free.

He lets out a sigh as he does so, but I barely pay it any mind. I’m completely still, curious, as I look him over for the first time. I don’t have anything to really base my observations off of, but he looks…quite large. He looks almost painfully erect, pointing upwards towards the ceiling and occasionally pulsing. I trace the network of bulging veins cutting through the rather soft looking skin, following them up towards the moisture-ridden tip.

He’s…strangely beautiful.

I can feel Peeta’s gaze on me, and I slowly look back up him to see that he’s smiling softly over his shoulder. I blush even more which brings a quiet chuckle out of him, but it doesn’t take much for my attention to be stolen by his erection again.

Without really thinking, I reach over to touch him, entirely curious to know what he feels like. I’m surprised when my finger tips brush against silky smooth skin stretched taut over a rock-hard surface. Peeta lets out a sharp, grunting kind of exhale, and I quickly withdraw my hand in the fear I hurt him.

“Sorry,” I whisper, shamefully burying my face against his shoulder.

His soft mirth though, slowly brings my head back up, a confused expression playing across my features.

“No,” he chuckles, “No uh…That was actually pretty…appreciated.”

So it actually felt good for him. It was pleasurable. The thought reinvigorates me, and I slowly reach back to touch him again. I hear his breath catch the moment my fingers make contact, and I lazily run them up and down, gently stroking him even harder.

“Oh…God, Katniss…” he whimpers out, and my heart subsequently flips.

I’m just finding some sort of rhythm, some sort of pattern, when Peeta’s hand stills mine. Confusion furrows my features once more, but he’s quick to console me.

“As much as I…As much as I love that, I won’t last the night if you continue,” he admits with a sheepish grin.

“Ahh,” I murmur demurely, biting my lip.

He’s back to chuckling, and as we release our hands from his length, he focuses on coaxing my bottom lip back out with a kiss. It’s short and sweet, because there are definitely more pressing matters at hand.

He breaks away, flitting his tongue out as his eyes track elsewhere. I follow his gaze downwards, and swallow heavily when I reach the same realization as him. It’s my turn. It’s my turn to bare myself to him. My turn to reveal my body to his thirsting eyes.

The very idea causes my head to spin, growing a bit woozy as I picture it.

“Hey…”

The gentle whisper is followed by a hand cupping my jaw, tilting my head up to connect our gazes.

“It’s okay, hun,” he says, and my heart twitters at the rare term of endearment, “It’s okay. You know I think you’re…absolutely breathtaking.”

“I know.”

But even still, I cannot get myself to move. I cannot find the will to unbutton myself. Despite things burning powerfully, blindingly, within, I can sense my anxiety beginning to snake itself through the inferno.

Peeta shoos it effortlessly away though, when his soft yet strong hands hold my hips. His fingers begin to toy with the bottom of my shirt, and I look up to find genuineness and compassion gazing back at me.

“May I?”

I’m still practically frozen, so having Peeta undress me might be the only way to go. Besides, I’m sure he’s wanted to do this for a long time.

So after heaving a sigh, I give him a small nod, to which he returns a warm smile. He starts kissing me for the umpteenth time tonight, though I can feel his fingers reaching up to start work on the last few buttons on my shirt. He works delicately, smoothly, crafting with both his tongue and hands.

Once he undoes the final button, I kiss him harder, subconsciously prolonging the moment and avoiding the big reveal. Peeta works around it though, brushing my shirt back and starting to tug it off my arms even through our passions. He somehow manages to get it completely off, and when I’m left in only my bra and small shorts, it feels like every inch of my skin begins to burn.

No one has seen this part of me. No one. I’ve never even thought to show anyone before this moment. But I’m here now, with Peeta. Sweet, sensitive, understanding,  _wonderful_  Peeta.

I combat my fears with his earlier words, replaying them over and over again in my head. I focus in on the undying need within the pit of my stomach, an almost painful reminder that things have to move along. And I tell myself that I trust no one else  _but_  him with seeing this.

Peeta’s hands creep around behind me, poising themselves against the clasp of my bra. Though my breath locks up, I do not hesitate to whisper permissions into our kiss.

“Go ahead…”

He breaks the contact between our mouths, instead peppering my face with smaller kisses as he unclasps me, slowly, almost reverently, pulling the piece of fabric down and off my body. As he does so, he leans back away from me. And after catching the “okay” in my eyes, he flits his own downwards to get his first true look at me.

The way he melts into utter awe, the way he gapes like he’s seen a stunning diamond, makes everything worth it, makes my fear disappear into thin air.

I almost don’t think Peeta’s breathing as he stares, his mouth hanging and his eyes wide as he drinks in the sight of my bare breasts. I shift myself shyly on the bed, biting my lip again, but beginning to smile slightly nonetheless. 

I feel the most beautiful I have ever felt in my life under his stare. Even more so than when I was made up for the Capitol. Even more so than when I believed I was as radiant as the sun. I feel like an entire, shimmering galaxy now.

“Katniss…Wow…”

I cannot help but laugh; it’s so weird to see Peeta struggling to find his words for once. And it’s also so bizarre that I’m the one rendering him speechless, rendering him to such a state.

But it’s…empowering in a way, as I’m rather self-conscious about my scar-laced body. So to see someone in love with it, in love with me…

I kiss him tenderly to express my thanks, smiling against his mouth.

“Oh my God, you’re so stunning,” he whispers as we part, his eyes taking refuge on my body, “You’re incredible…”

Slowly, carefully, he brings his hand up to the area just above my right breast, softly stroking with his knuckles. Seeing as I curiously touched him, I give him a nod when he silently asks for permission to travel further.

He trails his knuckles downwards, venturing onto the gentle swoop. It seems like his breath catches right along with mine, but when he strays across my dusky nipple, I’m the one to break the silence. I let out a husky gasp at the bolt of electricity I experience from such a simple touch, practically jerking on the mattress. Peeta stills, but before he can inquire, I urge him on.

“Keep…keep going…”

He grins crookedly, and gently pushes me back with both hands, easing me back towards my previous perch near the pillows. As I lay back, he’s touching both sides, cupping my breasts in his hands and circling my areola with his thumbs. I practically writhe beneath his touch, releasing hoarse cries as surge after surge of pleasure rushes through me.

Though he’s pleasuring my top half, I’m surprised to find my bottom half calling, then screaming for attention as he continues. His touch alights my entire body, everything wanting him, needing him.

In my nerves, I had disregarded his arousal as well. Now that I’m honing myself back in, I cannot help but notice his erection pressing against my skin down below, practically sandwiched between us.

I have to continue this. I have to give us what we’re both truly dying for. But with Peeta massaging my chest, practically kneading me like dough, it’s very hard to do so.

“P-Peeta…” I rasp, my voice feeble and masked with pleasure.

He carries on, boldly squeezing one of my nipples and causing me to release my loudest cry yet. I’m somehow simultaneously on fire and drowning, my skin absolutely burning and the apex of my thighs absolutely drenched.

I need us to continue. I need us to continue now.

“Peeta,” I manage to say just firm enough to stop him in his tracks.

I know I only have a few moments to either vocally or physically explain my motives. And with not being able to put how I’m feeling into words, I chew on my lip and decide to go all the way in one fell swoop.

I slip my fingers into my pants and underwear, grabbing them both. And with a shaky inhale and barely any thought, I pull them both down, leaving me entirely exposed and vulnerable to the man before me.

I’m a naked statue against the bed, laying completely still with my eyes avoiding Peeta’s. I’m entirely too shy to look at him right now, entirely too shy to gauge his reaction. It doesn’t take him long however, to tell me exactly what he thinks.

“Holy… _shit_ …”

I rarely hear him curse. He’s so eloquent that he normally doesn’t settle for such words. Whenever he does though, I know it’s because he’s completely taken aback by something, completely shaken.

Hesitantly, my gaze settles to follow his, peering down at myself. The patch of dark hair between my legs seems almost damp with the arousal I’m producing, and I can see my thighs visibly quivering. I’ve never thought the area to be all that attractive. I guess Peeta must think otherwise.

One of his hands travels to clasp over his mouth, his usually sturdy form looking close to collapsing. Except for his erection, which seems to be practically vertical as he takes me in.

And if I’m not imagining things, it almost seems like his blue eyes have taken a glassy sheen to them.

I absolutely melt at the sight, my body relaxing into the mattress as Peeta makes me feel like a complete goddess. He takes this as a cue to crawl back over me, frantically kissing my cheeks, jaw, and lips all over.

“You’re so beautiful…You’re mesmerizing…Thank you…Thank you for letting me see you,” he says in broken strings between his kisses.

I could almost tear up myself at his sentiments, my heart clenching deep within me. Something else however, clenches even harder, and so I’m quick to get back into things.

As Peeta passes over my lips for a peck, I capture his bottom lip gently between my teeth, stilling him into place. He lets out a shaky gasp, but when I release him, he’s quick to ravish me back in return.

We fall victim to another deep kiss, the both of us sucking and nibbling. Peeta settles himself on top of me, the feeling of his bare body against mine unprecedented. It’s a personification of the night really; comforting and wonderful, and entirely frustrating at the same time.

My hands grasp his wide shoulders, pulling and attempting to get him even closer. He seems to understand immediately, and without breaking our kiss, positions himself to proceed, his center poised over mine.

The heat of the moment, the intensity of what’s about to happen, causes us both to pull our mouths away, blue reverently searching through grey. We pant and tremble, our hands still wandering slowly; mine happens to find perch against Peeta’s cheek, caressing him as we exchange silent thoughts. He of course, is the first one to break the comfortable, albeit broiling quiet.

“Okay,” he breathes, “A few things…Are you protected?”

The question catches me off guard, but my face blanches slightly as I consider it. I’m so glad he remembered, because I certainly was too caught up, too naive to even think of it. After some contemplation though, I’m able to give him a small nod.

“Yeah…I remember getting some kind of shot right after I came home. Said it would last for years.”

He seems satisfied with my answer, and continues.

“And…are you really ready? Because after this…there’s no going back…”

I think about this for a moment, but decide I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Yes…I need you, Peeta,” I whisper, gingerly stroking his skin.

He smiles with a brightness that seems to challenge that of the sun, gives me one last, wonderful kiss, and turns his attention downwards.

I watch with interest, excitement, nerves, and everything in between as he grasps himself with a hand, giving a few strokes to warm himself up. He and I both seem to hold our breath together as he eases himself forward, nestling directly between my legs.

The moment his head brushes against my folds, the moment we touch in the most intimate way, I cannot help but tense up, every ounce of my being thick with emotion and anticipation.

Peeta being Peeta, he takes notice immediately, and releases himself briefly to rub a hand against my taut thigh muscle.

“Try and relax, sweetheart.”

I give a feeble nod, inhaling deeply through my nose and shakily out of my mouth. He gives me a gentle smile, and leans forward to press soft kisses to my neck again, working his magic to send me sinking back against the mattress once more.

When I’ve calmed enough, when we’re both completely ready, when we both want nothing more than to transcend such a pivotal part of our relationship together, he eases just the tip of his erection into me.

“I love you so much, Katniss…” he whispers thickly against my skin.

And before I can even think about what he just said, he’s sheathing himself inside me. My mouth falls open, my eyes slam shut, and my back arches slightly off the bed, a plethora of new sensations completely overtaking me.

“Ohhhhh…” I involuntarily breathe out, like Peeta pushing himself in squeezes the noise from my lungs.

At my vocalization, the feeling, or both, Peeta moans against me, pressing quivering kisses to my neck and jaw as he feeds himself further.

There’s the slightest bit of pain, Peeta stretching me wide as he ventures into uncharted territory. But as I adjust, as my muscles accommodate him, he fits snugly rather than roughly. And my body almost seems to be eager for more, unconsciously clenching and swallowing more of him in.

With how he settles deep inside me, it almost feels like we were made for each other, two puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together. And it really is…perfect. The feeling of having him as close as humanly possible, the feeling of finally being united and one…

I never thought I would love it so much. And I never thought it would send my adoration for Peeta skyrocketing.

My hands grip his now trembling body tightly, listening to the sounds of his moaning breaths. I know he’s supposed to continue. I know he’s supposed to take the reigns now. But honestly, I could stay like this forever, cradling him both inside and out.

I squeeze and relax my inner muscles, reveling in the new, wonderful feeling of having something to fill the space. At my clench, Peeta grunts into my neck, a deep and throaty sound that only results in another clench. He practically twitches above me, before finally raising his head off my collar.

My eyes flutter back into view to find an agape, beautiful Peeta, his face completely astounded as he gazes down at me.

“Katniss…” he whispers, his mouth flopping like a fish as our connection robs him of his composure.

“I know…”

“I’m…Are you okay? Did it hurt?”

“Barely,” I murmur honestly, “It mostly just feels…”

Again, I massage him deep within me, my eyes rolling shut as a happy sigh leaves my lungs. Peeta lets out another small grunt, and releases it with a heavy breath.

“Katniss…” he says again, his voice higher-pitched, more crackly.

I slowly make eye contact with him again, surprised to see that he looks almost sheepish now.

“I’m…I’m not going to last long at all…I really want to but I just…I…”

“Shhhh…” I soothe, reaching to stroke my fingers along his sculpted jaw, “I don’t care. Everything is…perfect.”

His facial expression softens, slowly starting to evolve into his warm, wonderful smile again. He reaches up with a hand to lay his fingers atop mine, holding me against his cheek.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he says with a breathy chuckle, before leaning his face down towards me.

He gives me a tender kiss, our lips hot and swollen. And then he’s back to hovering over me, placing both of his hands on either side of my head. I watch him with interest, with curiosity, wondering how this is about to go. But when he moves within me for the first time, when he gives a strong thrust of hips that sends his length plunging impossibly deep, I cannot help but lose sight of him momentarily.

Having Peeta inside of me is one thing. But feeling him move, his raw power, his erection hitting sensitive spots I didn’t know existed, is another sensation entirely. I gasp loudly, scrambling to get a better grip on his shoulders as I attempt to process the mind-blowing feeling within.

Before I can even make sense of everything I’m experiencing, I feel him recede before sliding himself back inward, giving yet another strong yet shaky push. He seems to go even deeper this time, because he hits something inside me that sends a burst of pleasure rocketing up from my core, exploding out into every inch of my body. It’s so strange, and so beautifully intense, that it sends a yelp from my lips.

I fall in love with the feeling, instantly wanting more. So I dig my finger nails into Peeta’s back, my hips lifting towards his as I urge him to continue. He moans softly, but his few practice runs must be coming to a close. After a few more, awkwardly-paced thrusts, he begins to find his rhythm, pistoning in and out at a near consistent speed.

Talk about putting me under a spell; I fall into a daze, fall into unadulterated bliss, as Peeta ravishes me. The sounds of the bed squeaking, his erection plunging into my arousal, and our heavy moan-laden breaths all sound like a melody. The feeling of him stroking areas that have hungered for attention for years makes for the most incredible satisfaction. The sight of him exerting himself above me, of his solid form ramming up against me and the winced enjoyment on his face, resonates within my very soul.

I couldn’t be happier that I’m sharing this with him.

Peeta’s vocalizations snap me out of my reveries, my attention honing back in a bit more. His entire face is scrunched up, his moans escalating in both pitch and volume. His medium pacing shifts, his hips beginning to ram harder and faster.

I find myself gasping with every advancement he makes, my body starting to shift backwards with the strength of his movements. And in the usual pattern of events, an even more glorious feeling begins to emerge.

I thought the fire was already burning brightly enough within. I thought its flames were reaching as high as they could possibly go, running rampant through my body. But no, with these stronger thrusts from Peeta, with the repeated strikes of pleasure, the inferno seems to intensify even more at the apex of my thighs.

It feels like the warmth is building, morphing inside of me. It feels like I’m growing all the more sensitive, every piston leaving me immensely satisfied yet hungry for more. It’s almost like the fire is coaxing, like it’s taking a selfish hold and wants to absolutely explode within.

But Peeta is taking me there; we both seem to be heading towards that particular blast of pleasure. He’s going faster and faster, sweat rolling down his skin and his eyes wrenching even tighter. I’m gripping him harder and harder, my gasps shifting to hoarse moans as we venture towards some unknown destination.

Peeta takes off, starting to bolt there ahead of me. His thrusts grow incredibly jerky and uneven, his moans almost sounding like he’s in pain. Despite the various colors flashing in my vision, despite my body being knocked against the pillows, I attempt to watch him as he starts to finish.

“Ka…Katniss,” he whimpers, my name barely audible among the twinges and cracks.

It must be some kind of warning, because before I know it, he has gone completely still above and inside me. I watch as he tenses up, his muscles popping and his face wrenching. He releases his loudest groan of the night, and then I’m flooded with a new type of warmth.

I simply lay in awe as he fills me with his own kind of flame, Peeta letting out grunts and moans as he pulses down below. I don’t really know what to do for him, so I simply rub my hands along his hard shoulder blades, not minding the dewiness of his skin.

With a few more pulses and subsequent noises, it’s like all the strength is sapped from his body. He turns into a practical rag doll, slumping downwards and landing softly atop me. He’s not uncomfortably heavy, so I hold him close and appreciate the feeling of his weight, both in and out.

The room is filled with nothing but our heavy pants and blooming scent. I stare up in the ceiling in lustful stupor, trying to believe that we actually just did that together. It’s almost like his flood within leads to a deluge of emotion, because I find myself tearing up as I hold Peeta close in more ways than one.

Right when I’m about to get particularly emotional, Peeta slips himself out of me, rolling off to my side. I already terribly miss the feeling of having him so close, and so I also roll to face him. When I do, I find myself staring into his brilliant blues, his expression dreamy, a rather dumb smile painted across his face. I laugh softly at the sight, before lifting my lips to his, giving him a kiss that I hope expresses every ounce of my gratitude and adoration.

“That…that was…” I whisper once we break away.

“Not finished yet.”

I tense, and pull myself back to stare at him in bewilderment. He gives me a crooked grin, the haze retreating from his eyes and letting the midnight lust shine once more.

“I hope I can give you everything and more than what you just gave me,” he murmurs, before I feel his hand slip between us, “May I?”

I lick my lips, my heart taking off like helicopter in my chest. Come to think of it, I never did have an explosion of my own. The fire is still licking and raging inside of me, practically screaming to be released in a giant combustion. I’m perfectly content enough now, but he has piqued my curiosity, made me wonder just what it must be like to completely let go.

I didn’t think he had the energy to do anything more, but the confidence in his gaze earns a small nod. He grins even wider, presses a soft kiss to my nose, and then his hand begins its journey.

He strokes softly down my belly, making my abdominal muscles tense at the tickly feeling. When he gets to my pelvis, he stills right above the patch of black curls, his eyes searching mine. Even though he was just there, even though we were just intimate, I find myself tensing up. I notice a hint of worry flit through him, but I urge him onward with another nod, biting my lip in anticipation.

After a moment of hesitation, he shifts even further down, his entire hand cupping my most private area. I inhale sharply through my nose, Peeta rumbling with a sigh. To my astonishment, he begins to swirl around with a single finger, exploring, familiarizing. He traces over my outer folds, before dipping into my wetness, grunting softly as he does so. I release soft gasps and heavy breaths at his various touches, my hips jerking and twitching on their own accord.

He runs his finger down the center of my labia, before slowly coming back upwards, this time applying light presses and pressure. I shift my hips at the peculiar touch, my breath uneven.

“I want to try and make you feel good, Katniss,” he murmurs deeply.

“You did make me feel- OH.”

It’s like Peeta strikes me with a bolt of lightning, electrifying pleasure shooting from where he just touched me out to the furthest tips of my extremities. It sends my pelvis bucking and my mouth dropping, my sudden cry replaced with shaken pants.

I watch as Peeta’s eyes flash, like he’s just found some sort of hidden treasure.

“There?” he asks, beginning to give me a salacious smile.

He doesn’t even give me time to respond before he’s pressing the spot again, sending yet another bolt through me and a subsequent vocalization out. His smile grows dark, dripping with lust as he begins his wondrous assault.

He experiments with different movements, different amounts of pressure, watching me closely to see just what drives me perfectly insane. He flicks the area for a bit, before pressing repeatedly. It’s when he begins to draw circles however, that I truly start to lose myself.

The pleasure intensifies so fast and so hard that it’s almost indescribable. I fall completely victim to his touch, unable to control my movements or sounds. As he rubs around and around, my hips jerk towards his hand, unconsciously seeking and avoiding the brilliant sparks. As he draws tighter and tighter shapes, my high pitched moans evolve into keens, singing my bliss out into the quiet of the room.

It’s insane; tonight has been an utter whirlwind of new sensations and feelings, each one even better than the last. But this, this certainly takes the cake, as it’s likely what my body has been screaming for this entire, my hunger getting satiated in just the right way.

It’s like lightning striking to start a forest fire, the sparks sending the flames reeling. They burn almost out of control within, taking up every ounce of my body and heating me to the core.

I’m writhing against the mattress, my head rolling and my hips thrusting. I’m losing sense of the stream of noise coming from my mouth, a mixture of soft screams and Peeta’s name. And I feel like I’m so close, so incredibly close to experiencing what Peeta’s trying so desperately to grant me.

But the fire is oddly stubborn. It seems to rise to a certain point, before it levels out. It seems to crest, but doesn’t go completely out of control. I start to wonder if I’m even capable of fully letting go like Peeta did. I want to. I want to so bad. But perhaps I don’t even know what I’m chasing. Perhaps I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be feeling.

Peeta however, seems to have a better grasp on things. I hear him ask me something, but it’s completely muffled by the blood thundering through my ears, the roar of the fire. Whatever he’s planning though, I trust him. I trust that he’ll continue to lead me to the desired destination.

He doesn’t disappoint.

Continuing to pleasure me with one hand, he gently pushes my shoulder with the other, turning me onto my back again. He must know I’m delirious, must know I’m completely wrapped up in what he’s giving me, because I feel him nestle close, his mouth just breaths away from my ear. I can make out what he says, but just barely.

“I’m going to try something…”

And with a soft kiss to my jaw, he’s gone. I pick my head up, blindly trying to locate him. But when I blink a few times and look downwards, I give a shuddering quake at what I see.

Peeta has nestled himself between my legs, his face lined up with my core, his dusky blue eyes staring through my soul. I feel his fingers continue to rub. I feel his pads softly carrying on with their circling. But without warning, his tongue, a weapon of his eloquence, becomes a weapon of lust instead.

He licks messily and without much of a pattern, but the feeling is unprecedented. The combination of his warm breath huffing against my center, the wetness of his mouth melding with mine, the strength and pressure he’s now applying on top of what was already an overwhelming amount of pleasure…

I lose control. I jerk and writhe and shriek, spilling what’s on my mind with absolutely no way to stop it.

“Ohhhhh, Peeta….Yes…Oh my God….Oh, I love you….Right there….”

My voice sounds completely foreign to me, high pitched and drowning in everything I’m feeling. Strangely, it feels like Peeta stills his tongue against me for a moment. But in the next second, I can feel his lips turning upwards, and he grins into me before trying something new. He covers the area with his mouth and sucks, hard, continuing the prods of his tongue as he does so.

There it goes. It starts to build higher, impossibly higher. My entire body strangely tenses, and I feel like a volcano about to erupt, a pot about to boil over. My screams start to get stuck in my throat, my hips nearly locking into place. I’m a completely taut bowstring. And Peeta is the one to fire the arrow.

“Let go, sweetheart…”

I’m no longer on fire. I’m no longer getting swallowed up by the flames. I’m a Mockingjay once again, flying up into the clouds, soaring up into dazzling bursts of light and color. My body is a firework of warmth and bliss, sending me through multiple bursts and crests of pleasure. The hunger, finally satisfied, departs through a rush of liquid, spilling out of me as I continue to ride the waves.

I could stay up here for the rest of my life. I could sail through sunset-orange clouds forever without a care in the world, my body feeling completely light and free. But I suppose what comes up, must come down, and I begin to glide gently down from what I can only describe as heaven.

Slowly, I return back to Earth, back to District 12, gradually gaining back my senses. I find that I’ve completely melted into the bed, my limbs sprawled every which way. I can feel moisture dripping from me in numerous places, from my core and eyes both. And when I look downwards, I spy a very pleased and beautiful Peeta, his chin and eyes glistening all the same.

The moment we make eye contact, he smiles at me like I’m his world, and makes his way up the bed to lay beside me again. Without a word, I throw myself against him, lacing my arms around his back and burying my face into his chest. He returns the embrace, holding me close and pressing kisses to my damp, unruly hair.

And we lay there. We simply lay there, appreciating the silence, the extraordinary act we just shared, each other…

I’m finding it very difficult not to weep into Peeta’s chest, feeling overwhelmed in the best sort of way. I can’t believe how he makes me feel. Comforted, blissful, beautiful, loved, safe. I never thought it was possible. Years ago, I never once imagined myself being in the arms of the man I adore, post-coital and completely at ease with the world. But here I am, the wildest of my fantasies a reality.

I smile through my tears, snuggling as close as I can manage, returning his plethora of soft kisses and caresses.

With the room quiet, filled with nothing but our slowing breaths, I become aware of the rain outside again. It seems to have picked up, perhaps symbolically putting out the fires within as the night begins to wind down. It’s incredibly soothing, the ambiance and Peeta and I’s embrace. That, and I find myself to be wiped out, my body akin to jelly. So it’s no surprise to me that I begin to drift peacefully away, perfectly content with ending the night here.

Of course Peeta would have something else in mind.

I feel him shift in my arms, his hands softly stroking my back as he leans a bit away from me. I stubbornly pull him back, not wanting him to go anywhere, and he chuckles a bit before growing solemn.

“Katniss…”

His tone is enough to nab my attention, and I curiously lean back in his arms, gazing across the pillows at him. He smiles softly, warmly, reaching back around to cup my face.

“You…”

His voice chokes up, but he smiles more and quickly tries again.

“You love me…Real or not real?”

I feel my breath catch and my cheeks flush, the question catching me a bit off guard. My first reaction is to give some kind of incredulous retort, to dance around the subject like I normally do. But then I drink it in more, consider it, and those three words step out into the light again.

Their presence in my mind doesn’t frighten me this time around. For the first time in a while, it’s not strange to think about them, to direct them towards someone. It’s almost like the band-aid has already been ripped off, like I’ve uttered them before…

My cheeks redden even more.

Despite me being carried away in the moment however, despite me being intoxicated from all the lust running rampant at the time, it wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t just something I said to appease him. The fact that it slipped out in our greatest moment of passion is actually quite telling.

I really do love him. There’s no questioning that now, no running away from the fact. It’s crazy. It’s unbelievable. But I am undoubtedly, unequivocally, in love with Peeta Mellark. 

So when I lean forward to press my forehead against his, staring deep into his eyes, my voice is filled with nothing but genuine adoration for everything he is.

“Real…”

His smile at the moment could chase all the bad times away, could alight even the darkest corners of my soul. When the glassiness in his eyes shatter, sending a tear or two rolling down his cheeks, I cannot help but mimic him.

“R-really?” he whispers, laughing through his tears.

I laugh right back, giving him a soft, passionate kiss. When I break away, I’m blushing immensely, but I decide to try out the phrase that’s been long overdue, the phrase that I’m going to utter freely for the rest of my life.

“I love you, Peeta.”


End file.
